I hate the Carolina Panthers

I hate the Carolina Panthers.

There, I said it. I hate everything about them. As crazy as this sounds though, I’ve never really put together the pieces until now.

Are you North or South Carolina? Pick a side!

The word “Panthers” sure looks a lot like “Packers” – disgusting!

Oh, your color is “Carolina Blue?” How creative.

Your list of Hall of Fame players is just sad… no one drafted by the Panthers and only players signed at the end of their careers? Way to go, guys!

I’m still mad about the Greg Olsen trade.

And signing Charles Tillman and making the Panthers part of his legacy. Stay away!

I’m still mad about the Steve Smith playoff game too!

Seriously, coleslaw on top of the BBQ? Just put it off to the side like everyone else!

Your all-time winningest coach is a former Chicago Bear. You want to be the Bears so bad, don’t you?

Speaking of coaches, why did you inception us to hire John Fox?!

Why does your mascot look like a Bear? You’re confusing your players!

The mascot’s name is Sir Purr. I mean…okay, that’s pretty funny.

I hate them so much, I want them to lose every single game this upcoming season. I’m talking 0-17, embarrassing football. I want them to have to the worst record in the league so that I can feel as though I truly got my vengeance as a fan. No cooling off period – I need it now.

I predict that this will all be out of my system and I can go back to not caring at all about the Carolina Panthers in 2024. Until then, my list:

1. Panthers

2. Packers

3. Everyone Else

Note: Completely unrelated to the above, the Chicago Bears own Carolina’s first-round draft selection for next year.